Redemption
by Pikachaaaa
Summary: As the darkness passed, everything flooded back. The guilt, shame, horror, and feelings. Hurting the one he loved and had tried to save him. There was only one way for redemption. Slight Jerza drabble, during episode 40/41.


_Hello everyone! It's Pikachaaaa here with a Fairy Tail slight Jerza drabble. This is my opinion of what Jellal would feel or think during episode 40/41. This is a very different writing style from what I have attempted before, so I would love some advice and feedback. _

**~ Redemption; Jellal ~**

I lay there, battered. I opened my eyes and didn't move. I felt something stir inside, something that had lost control and had fled. It was what had possessed, and controlled me, forced me, to do things. Horrible things.

My head ached and I looked up from the multiple layers that Natsu had thrown me down. My whole body hurt, but not as much as my heart. Everything came back.

From the beginning, outcasting Erza, hurting her. The one who had tried to save me.

Completing the Tower of Heaven, something I had tried so hard to prevent.

Lying to everyone, manipulating them. Making them believe they were to achieve the freedom that they so desperately craved.

I finally managed to breathe. I felt something hot run down my face. Was it a tear?

I then remembered the most recent events. Killing my friend, Simon. He was protecting her. Erza. She could have died. But Simon died instead.

The Tower of Heaven began to collapse. Multiple floors began to crumble. This was the end of me.

Guilt racked my heart as I saw Simon's lifeless body fall down. He was a friend and was the only one to think that Erza wouldn't have done something so terrible, as to destroy her friends' freedom. I should have never tarnished her name.

I remembered Natsu, yelling because I made Erza cry. I did. I made her, someone who had always believed in me, cry.

Overhead, I could hear Erza and Natsu. I gasped as I heard Erza planning to sacrifice herself to the Etherion. After all of this, she was still going to die? As a sacrifice to save her friends?

Natsu had shouted at her to not do it. But I knew Erza. Strong willed and determined. She would do anything to protect her comrades, friends. She was going to do it, nonetheless.

She couldn't. She couldn't just waste her life like that. No one would be happy. They would never be able to see her smile, or hear her voice again.

But I didn't deserve to do any of that. I didn't deserve to know her. I tried to kill her to fulfill something that was so wrong. So evil.

I could feel Erza attempting to fuse with the Etherion. I could hear Natsu scream at Erza, for her to not risk her life.

With one feeling, I began to focus. I gathered some magic, but swiftly lost it. I panted slightly and suddenly became strong willed like her. I mustered the rest of my magic energy and shot up to where Natsu and Erza were.

Natsu desperately attempted to pull Erza out from the Etherion. I felt her conscious slip away.

The fire dragon slayer won even more respect from me than before. He pulled her away.

I knew the Etherion was about to fire. Natsu still didn't realize that I was there, but carried instead Erza lower into the Tower. I knew that he still was not going to make it out alive with Erza. No one would make it alive.

One word entered my mind. Redemption.

It was the only way. I had to merge with the Etherion and attempt to do the same as Erza. To atone for my sins.

I rushed over to it and began to let it accept me. It stung, but I couldn't let anyone else die. After what I did to them, they couldn't just die after finally being freed.

It could not happen. I forced myself to continue on.

The Etherion had finally accepted me. It sapped at my energy as we merged.

No, I couldn't let everyone perish because I was not strong enough to stop it.

A magic pulse began to emit from Etherion and bundle up. The energy would bundle up and cause an explosion. I had to force the energy upwards into the sky.

Erza began to enter my mind. I thought of how kind she was and how much she really cared.

For Erza. It had to be done for her. With all of my strength I directed the magic up into the sky.

Was this it? Did I finally repay the debt I had owed to everyone that I had lied, manipulated, killed? I knew that the effects of the Etherion would be severe, and that I would most likely die because of it. But was this truly redemption?

It was not. If I managed to live, I would have to still repay the debt. What I owed was infinite. I would never be at peace.

But Erza. I swore that I would always remember her. Through death and all. I loved her.

But I could never tell her how I felt. She never deserved to have such misery and sorrow. I could never bring myself to tell her I loved her. She would always be too good.

My consciousness began to slip away. Is this the end?

I had some redemption. I knew I would never be able to survive.

However, it could not end like this. I pushed my limits once more. And then I was gone.

_**~ You have grown stronger, Erza ~**_

_Sorry if Jellal was OOC. This was my first Fairy Tail fic, so I'm still not sure how to characterize everyone. Constructive criticism is appreciated!_


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